The Expendables (2010)

★★☆

Director: Sylvester Stallone

Writers: Dave Callaham & Sylvester Stallone

Action stars, martial artists, professional wrestlers and UFC champions. You couldn't fit more testosterone into a single film if you tried. Granted less than half of the big names attached to this film only ended up appearing for a few scenes, it's still an impressive line up, and so for that reason I had to see it.

I wasn't expecting a huge amount from this film, and you don't need to be a genius to see that it's just going to be a bunch of good old fashion mindless action violence. And it was. There's nothing wrong with that. But unfortunately I felt that it fell just slightly short of other films of it's kind, which I would attribute to the visual effects and script.

I don't know who was responsible, whether it was Sly or this 'Dave Callaham' fellow, who's professional writing credits can be counted on one hand, but there were some seriously bad lines in this film. Stallone and Statham both have love interests, and the sentences that came out of their mouths in an attempt to be romantic or dramatic, were just disgraceful. Even soap operas would throw up upon hearing these lines...

Having said that, there were a few one-liners that did get a giggle from me because they were so corny, which is what one-liners should be. The scenes where the lads' were sitting around casually joking with each other, captured the bro-mance that these tough guys have with each other really nicely.

The visual effects were the other problem I had with this film. Each time someone would get shot, bright red blood would shoot out, drawing attention to the fact that it wasn't real. I don't know why they didn't just use squibs, like most other action films, as animating the blood really detracted from the realism and just didn't work for me. There was even a scene towards the end where the flames were added in, which looked very cheap.

The Expendables is an ok film. Nothing special, but it could have been much worse.

Grown Ups (2010)

★★☆

Directed by: Dennis Dugan

Written by: Adam Sandler & Fred Wolf

After their primary school basketball coach passes away, five childhood friends are reunited for his funeral, and then spend a weekend together at a holiday house.

The five comedy actors, Sandler, James, Rock, Spade and Schneider were very believable as old friends, and the scenes they shared reminiscing about the past, felt very natural and cosy.

This is one of those films where you can tell that all the actors must have had a blast making the film, and it shows and gives the film a very pleasant, feel-good vibe. The montages during the water park scenes are a great example of this, when I think they weren't so much actors, as they were just big children being filmed.

It's nice to just be able to relax in light-hearted comedies like this, where you don't have to concentrate on complicated plot details or painfully deep characters.

As far as comedies go, while there were a few laugh out loud moments, Grown Ups wasn't anything special. I think it's appeal is just as much in the feel-good family market as it is in the comedy market.

Predators (2010)

★★★☆

Directed by: Nimród Antal

Written by: Alex Litvak & Michael Finch

Before I saw Predators I was expecting to like it, but not love it. I think this had something to do with me expecting them to ignore the sci-fi possibilities (which I am a huge fan of) of the story and just focus more on the survival/action angle of the film. But then it occurred to me that survival is the essence of the Predators and their films, so why shouldn't they focus on that? But as it turned out there was actually more sci-fi content than I was expecting anyway, so that wasn't really a problem any more.

The introduction of the Predator's 'hunting dogs' was a interesting insight into the Predator lore and worked well as something extra to add to this film and to set it apart from the previous films.

What I also liked, was how as well as the humans, the Predators also brought other alien species to their game planet. This gave me a sense of the entire universe as the film's setting, rather than just the planet it took place on. It implies that the Predators have traveled all over the universe to find different species to hunt. I loved this because it gave the film a very sci-fi feel, and for me that's always a good thing.

There were one or two minor things that got to me a little, but not nearly enough to effect my enjoyment of the film. I can't remember exactly when, but it was mentioned at some that the Predators have two different social classes, and that one is dominant over the other. This would have been very interesting, but they just never followed it up with any more explanation or an example, making it seem like a rather pointless piece of information to give us, if it isn't going to be made relevant. Another thing was that I found Edwin's (Topher Grace) true character reveal at the end of the film a little unbelievable, whether it was because they hadn't justified it enough with in the story or for some other reason, I found it surprising, but not in a good way. The last thing was Royce's voice. While half the time it wasn't really a problem, there were quite a few times, especially when he had to yell, that his put-on deep voice just sounded a bit silly. Some of his lines also struck me as a bit too melodramatic. But other than that, he did a good job with his character, as did the other actors.

MEMORABLE MOMENT: Cuchillo's (Danny Trejo) death scene. Just after the Predator hunting dogs attack, and have all been killed, the group realises that one of their own is missing. They find Cuchillo in the middle of a clearing, slumped on the ground and facing away from them. Silence falls over them, and we hear Cochillo's voice groaning slowly; "help me", but he doesn't move. This was immensely eerie and creepy, and amazingly effective. Some of the group attempt to go over and help him, but Royce stops them, demonstrating with a rock that the area is booby trapped. All of them except for Isabelle (Alice Braga), decide that they have no choice but to leave him behind, and walk on ahead. After a moment Isabelle agrees, and out of sympathy shoots him in the back to stop him suffering. As Isabelle starts to walk away, we again hear Cuchillo's blood curdling; "help me". The camera then pans in front of Cuchillo's face and we see that he was already dead before they found him, and that the Predator's recorded his voice and were replaying it. That moment after Isabelle shoots him and we hear him speak again, was just sooo chilling and well done. I would have to say it was probably the best part of the film for me.

The Karate Kid (2010)

★★★

Directed by: Harald Zwart

Written by: Christopher Murphey & Robert Mark Kamen

I really would have liked to have seen the original 1984 film before I saw this remake, so I could comment on the similarities and differences and all that jazz, but unfortunately I didn't...

I liked The Karate Kid. It was good to see Jackie Chan do a slightly different role as Mr Han (the equivalent of Mr Miyagi from the original). Chan did of course get to show off his martial art skill, but  it wasn't done in his usual comic style. It was more about the the discipline and commitment required for the art of kung fu. This character was much more serious than the usual light comic roles that Chan does so well. The the scene in which we find out the reason for Mr Han's stern demeanour, required a rather high level of emotionality, that as far as I am aware, hasn't been required for any of Chan's previous roles. And I think he did a really great job of it, and turned it into what was emotionally, a really effective scene.

The other star of this film and the karate kid, was of course little Jaden Smith. While Smith has had a few supporting roles, this was his first lead role. And he did a great job of it, as Dre Parker, a kid out of his comfort zone, trying to find his place in a foreign country. You can tell that Smith must have gone through quite a bit of training to pull off the impressive moves that he does in this film, so good on him for showing such a level of commitment. It's going to fun to watch Smith as he grows up and to see the kinds of roles he goes for and what kind of actor he develops into. He does after all have a pretty great (and just down right cool) role model in his old man, Will Smith.

While like a said, I haven't seen the original, I was still able to pick up on some of the nods that this remake gave to original. In the film's trailer we saw Mr Han supposedly attempting to catch a fly with his chopsticks, only to have him pull out a fly swat, and squish it to the wall. We also see Mr Han waxing his car, a homage to the iconic 'wax on, wax off' scenes from the original.

I should also mention some of the locations they visited, such as the Chinese temples, were just beautiful.

Superhero Movie (2008)

☆

Directed and written by: Craig Mazin

First off, I didn't go out of my way to watch this movie. AT ALL. There was nothing else on TV and shamefully I was too lazy too put on a DVD. So I watched it. From beginning to end.. *Shudders*

As long as the people behind this film aren't taking it seriously (which I really hope they aren't), then it's not so bad. If they are just setting out to make a silly, silly movie, that is more or less just a series of individual skits, rather than a flowing film with characters and plot, then they've done that.

And I laughed. Not a huge amount, and they were guilty laughs. but enough to be worth noting. But then that's the humour of this film. Not intelligent, clever wit, but stupid slapstick. I'm not saying it was good, I'm just saying it was better than I expected. Maybe it pays off to go into a film with no expectations. And I mean none at all. Like, negative expectations...

Midnight Run (1988)

★★★

Directed by: Martin Brest

Written by: George Gallo

Jack Walsh (Rober De Niro) is a ex-cop turned bounty hunter, who is escorting Jonathan 'The Duke' Mardukas (Charles Grodin) across America, so he can pick up the hefty reward and be done with bounty hunting for good. The two of them are trailed by another bounty hunter, the FBI as well as the mafia, who Mardukas stole from.

The constant disappearing and reappearing of the various characters, just as one thinks they have shaken the other for good, is quite smart and funny.

De Niro and Grodin have great chemistry in this film. The mild mannered Mardukas is constantly questioning the very easily aggravated Walsh. This makes the scenes between these two, especially earlier in the film, before the real shenanigans get started, quite amusing.

The second half of the film is when everything starts getting serious, as the all the different groups of people get closer and closer, until the final showdown, which given the light hearted nature of the film so far, is actually rather tense.

First Blood (1982)

★★★

Directed by: Ted Kotcheff

Written by: Michael Kozoll, William Sackheim & Sylvester Stallone

First Blood tells the story of John Rambo, a troubled Vietnam war veteran who is passing through a small town in Oregan and just wants a bite to eat. The local sheriff isn't a big fan of drifters, such as Rambo, and arrests him after he refuses to leave town. After Rambo busts out of the police station, he runs off into the forest, with the determined, and a tad crazy sheriff and his gang hot on his tail. Back in his natural habitat, Rambo slowly incapacitates the unlucky officers one by one as they come after him, until the situation escalates so far out of control that there is soon a small army after him.

The scenes at the beginning of the film, where Rambo is in the police station, were for me, some of the strongest in the film. When Rambo takes his shirt off and we see the young officer's eyes widen and his face grimace, before Rambo turns around and we see his torture-scarred chest, is a brilliant moment.

As he is taken down into the cells, Rambo begins to have flashbacks to his rather unpleasant stay in a PoW camp during the war. When the officers have to hold him down, and one takes out a razor blade to shave him with, the flashbacks become a little too much for poor Rambo to handle and he consequently starts taking out the officers, left, right and center. The tension that has built up before this point through the scar revealing and Rambo's mysteriously quiet demeanour, makes it quite a dramatic moment when he finally pops.

Another great scene is when the sheriff is stumbling through the forest, listening as his men helplessly cry out as they one by one fall victim to Rambo's makeshift booby traps and ruthless guerilla techniques. 

Rambo's former commanding officer and only friend; Colonal Troutman, sums up the situation quite nicely: "I didn't come down here to rescue Rambo from you, I came here to rescue you from Rambo".

Rambo's closing speech, and possibly the only time in the film that he manages to string more than a few simple words and grunts together, is actually quite touching. You can't help but feel sorry for the big guy when he is sobbing like a child about his army buddy who got blown up in his arms... "I can't find your legs!"

Get Him to the Greek (2010)

★★

Directed and written by: Nocholas Stoller

This was never a film that I particularly wanted to see, but never the less a friend wanted me to see it with them last night, so I did.

I'm generally pretty good at sensing whether or not I will like a film before I see it. And unfortunately, this was no exception. It wasn't terrible, and there were parts that I did enjoy and found funny enough. The opening of the film in which Aldous Snow (Russell Brand) is performing his music video for 'African Child' was quite funny, as was the 'furry wall' scene towards the end of the film. But other than that I didn't do a whole lot of laughing.

They tried to sneak in some serious parts among the mostly crude humor, involving Jonah Hill's character, Aaron Green and his girlfriend as well as Snow realising he is wasting his life on sex and drugs. Although I felt that these moments just didn't fit in with the rest of the film and seemed very out of place.

Wild Wild West (1999)

★★★☆

Directed by: Barry Sonnenfeld

I'd seen this film a few years ago, and remembered it for some reason just recently. So we ordered the DVD and watched it last night.

If I had to describe this film in just one word, it would be 'fun'. This film is the perfect example of a light hearted, funny, action-adventure film. I'm a fan of Will Smith, and while he can be a very impressive and serious actor, in films like Seven Pounds for example, he also plays characters like James West in this film, so well. And he really looks like he is enjoying himself too.

A lot of imagination went into Wild Wild West and it's alternate, slightly steam punk inspired version of 1869, with all of Kevin Kline's Atemus Gordon's crazy mechanical gadgets and gizmos throughout the film.

There were times when I found some of the humor slightly basic, but that's really just me nit picking. It also shows that it is a family film, that can be appreciated by all ages. The majority of the film was easily funny enough for me to appreciate and even if it wasn't, the wonderfully creative visual design would have made up for it.

Escape from the Planet of the Apes (1971)

★★☆

Directed by: Don Taylor

Written by: Paul Dehn

So now I'm three down out of five, having watched Escape from the Planet of the Apes last night. Unlike Beneath, Escape is regarded as the best of all the Ape sequels.

The big difference with this one, is that unlike the first two films, it is set on present day Earth, not 2000 years into Earth's future. So for me that automatically sets it apart from the first two films, and in a way made it harder for me to relate and get into the film. The opening credits were done over a montage of the Apes arriving on Earth and being taken in by the humans. I felt that this trivialised the Apes arrival on Earth, making it feel as though it wasn't as ground breaking an event as it would be, if it really happened. Although this was mostly explained when it is shown that the humans didn't realise the Apes were intelligent and didn't necessarily think of them as aliens, because of the chimpanzee's that had previously been sent into space in space shuttles by NASA.

There was a point in the middle of the film, once Cornelius and Zira had become celebrities and were shopping for clothes, where everything seemed to become a little too comical. I sort of felt that these sequences undermined the more serious elements of the film, but they didn't last too long and the film soon moved on with the story.

There were definitely some great moments here as well. The scene where Dr. Lewis and Dr. Branton are testing the Apes and slowly realise how intelligent they are, has a quite a few laughs where you think to yourself; "oh if only they knew...". This scene feels very familiar to those in Planet of the Apes, when the Apes first realise that Taylor is intelligent. In a lot of ways the setting of Escape is the same as Plantet, just reversed. Intelligent humans among unsuspecting apes are replaced with intelligent apes among unsuspecting humans. The continuation of this scene, when Cornelius and Zira are put in front of the Presidential Commission, is very entertaining for the same reasons.

The film's climactic ending where Zira and Cornelius are dramatically gunned down, is also very effective, as a dying Zira crawls over to be with her dead husband.

Well, that's about all I've all got for now. Tune in next time!

Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970)

★★☆

Directed by: Ted Post

Written by: Paul Dehn & Mort Abrahams

So I watched Beneath the Planet of the Apes last night. Although I believe it is critically regarded as one of the worst films in the series, I still enjoyed it, albeit not as as much as the first one, but it did still have some great moments.

One of these moments is when Cornelius and the gorilla army are marching on the Forbidden Zone. In an attempt to deter the apes, the mutants create horrific telepathic illusions of apes strung up and burning alive, as well as a gigantic statue of the Lawgiver who then bleeds from the eyes and mouth. Even though the visual effects used to created this sequence are very obviously outdated (sadly, you could tell they were quite proud of their superimposed flames that were WAY out of the scale with their surroundings), I still found this scene to be very effective. The fact that it was so dated gave it a very different feel to anything that could be created today (or at least, would be created today). Instead of horrifying the audience with it's visuals, which would be lost on today's audience, because of it's unrealistic, 'antique' look, it had a much more eerie feel to it, which I think was very effective, and for me, still made this sequence rather chilling.

Having said that, I did come close to having a mental breakdown when the mutant's singing scene just went on FOREVER. We get it, they have gross, mutant faces, and yet they are still capable of beautiful singing, just please, for the love of Lawgiver, CUT TO THE NEXT SCENE!

Here's a fun fact for you: the ending of Beneath the Planet of the Apes; having Taylor detonate the Doomsday bomb and destroy Earth, was Charlton Heston's (who played Taylor) idea, as he was reluctant to reprise his role in the film to begin with, agreeing to it only if his character died and destroyed the Earth, in hopes that would destroy any chance of more sequels being made. But of course it didn't, as I still have Escape from, Conquest of and Battle for the Planet of the Apes still to watch! And I have to say that I'm glad Charlton didn't have his way, as I am rather looking forward to watching them. So until then, bye, "you bloody bastards!"

Toy Story 3 (2010)

★★★★

Directed by: Lee Unkrich

Written by: John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton, Lee Unkrich & Michael Arndt

I saw Toy Story 3 last night with a group of friends and let me tell you, it was brilliant. It had so much heart, and while I didn't cry, I came closer than any 19 year old boy ever should, at quite a few moments throughout the film. *Spoilers* There was one part that, when the toys where facing what they thought was certain death, they all just stopped, looked at each and slowly joined hands one by one and waited for the inevitable. It was so touching, and also I think very mature in terms of the themes. Accepting your own death like that is a theme that goes far beyond a regular kinds movie. There a quite a few moments like in this film, although they did it well so that the more mature content would kind of drift over the younger viewers heads, while still being entertaining enough for them not to be bored or confused by it. I mean, they are just kids after all... The character of 'Big Baby' draws heavily from the stereotypical classic horror symbol of the creepy child's doll, and is another example of much more matured content, while not being too scary for the kids, but is enough for the adults to say "oh yes, I see what they are doing there, very clever".

The humour too was great in this film, again for children and adults alike. 'Ken' was a wonderful new addition to the Toy Story family, and the source of a lot of the film's humour, supplied mostly by the constant references to him possibly being gay; "I'm not a girls toy! Seriously, why do you guys keep saying that?". Buzz Lightyear's Spanish/crab dance to woo Jessie was another hilarious moment for me.

I should also note that I saw this films in 3D. Now I know there are those people that will be all; "3D is so silly and doesn't make any difference", but I think it was really cool, so there.

All of these things make Toy Story 3 a marvellous film, that I really enjoyed and really does appeal to ALL ages.

So stay tunes folks, more movies to come!

Planet of the Apes (1968)

★★★


Director: Franklin J. Schaffner

Writers: Michael Wilson & Rod Serling

Oh look. I put up the director and writers. Huh. That makes things slighting fancy and more professional-looking. Maybe that can be a regular thing that I do? Who knows, maybe it will take off. But probably not... it was kind of annoying to look it up on imdb.com and copy and paste the names... the lengths I go to...

But anyway, the actual film. Ok, so for whatever reason we decided to order the special collector's edition on blu-ray with all five of the films off the internet. It arrived yesterday and we promptly watched the first film; Planet of the Apes, that evening. I wasn't sure if the quality was actually going to be any better on blu-ray, seeing as it's so old, but I think it actually was. Not that I have bothered to compare the blu-ray to the dvd, because that would just be... well, lame... right?

I had seen it before, but not for six months or so, so I didn't remember too much of it which was good.

I don't need to tell you that Planet of the Apes is one of the greatest classic science fiction films, but I kind of just did, so there. But it really is. It's just such a cool idea.

Oh and just as a quick side note; I love science fiction. Like, a lot. Too much in fact. But hey, deal with it.

Although I suppose the credit for the idea shouldn't go the film, at least not completely, as the film was based on a book by French writer Pierre Boulle, called La planète des singes, written in 1963. It might interest you to know (I know it interested me, but that really isn't saying much) that there were some rather large differences between the film and the book, which I found out while watching the special features that came with the film. Naturally some spoilers will follow, so please don't read on if you haven't seen the film. But then again, if you haven't seen Planet of the Apes then you really shouldn't be here, as I hate you and you make me sick. It's a classic. Go see it. Geez, what the hell is wrong with you? Seriously?? But as I was saying. In the book, the ape society isn't primitive or suspiciously similar to Tatooine (Star Wars), like it is in the film. In the book the ape society is very futuristic and much more advanced than Earths' was. Now, prepare yourself for the other big difference... it wasn't Earth. The huge twist at the end of the film? Not from the book. Made up. Amazing none the less, and an iconic science fiction moment, but yeah, not how the book ended. I found that interesting.

Now I think that brings this post to an end. I hope you enjoyed and I hope that I can be bothered to come back and do it again when I see another film. I'll leave you with this insightful message: "Take your stinkin' paws off me, you damned dirty ape!"

An Introduction.

Hi there. How are you? Good? Great. Let's get started.

So the best case scenario here is that this will become a blog in which I will list (and talk about... briefly) the films that I watch, both new releases at the cinema and just what ever tickles my fancy at home on TV or DVD (or Blu-Ray. I LOVE the Blu-Ray). The worst case scenario on the other hand, is that I will rapidly lose interest, and this space will become a sad reminder of my pitiful attempt at committing to something. Either or.

So anyway. First up? Planet of the Apes. Which I watched last night. And will be posting about today. In a separate post from this one. Oh dear, everything is collapsing already... STAY TUNED!